Adventurers in self-publishing: a cry for help

I have a pile of various original novels that I would like to do something with, and given the associated stacks of rejection letters, I'm considering putting them out there in the world without benefit of the traditional publishing model.

I've been considering this for some time but I keep putting it off for assorted reasons. I would really like to have someone to talk to about this who's done it and is willing to help a newbie through the hurdles. If you or someone you know fits those criteria, please let me know.

Short & sweet - prompt me for a sentence of snuggling

I could use some warm fuzzies today. How about you?

Here are my current fandoms. I haven't gotten around to putting Night Vale on the list yet, but it may belong there too.

If you know I'm fond of two characters who could plausibly share a hug, whether or not they share a fandom, prompt me and I'll see what I can do. My requirements for plausibility involve "not destroying the universe like matter and antimatter if they touch, or actively loathing one another in canon."